If animals have facebook...

If Animals Have Facebook, these are most likely to be their Status Updates: 

Cockroach : Managed to skip from some one’s foot step.. Man, I lead a dangerous lifestyle. 

Cow : Huh! They are touching my breast again, what they think I am! Bitch? 

Mosquito : I am HIV positive this is all due to wrong sucking !! 

Chicken : If tomorrow I am not updating my status, means I am being served at KFC. Love you all. 

Octopus : I have just refilled my ink horray !! 

Cow : Friends, don’t go out, hari raya korban holiday is coming !! 

Pig writes a comment on Cow’s status : “Luckily I am haram” "4 Likes" 

Cow replies : Don’t you remember that after hari raya korban is the Chinese new year ?